Why People Are Impatient

Why are some people impatient? Why do some people lose their patience quickly? Some people are more impatient than other people are. Some show impatience in certain situations, and others ... Continue Reading...

For the First Time: A List of Things to Try

 

 

 

Is there something you've always wanted to do (and probably could) but just haven't done? This week I was presented with the awesome opportunity to do one of my want-to-but-never-have things: a tarot reading! The lovely Kerry Ward, aka Tarotbella, Cosmopolitan's tarot expert, reached out to me and offered to do a reading for me, and it was eye-opening, filled with wisdom that I definitely needed to hear! Most importantly, it led me to ask the question, Why didn't I do this before? It was something I'd always wanted to try, and could have, but just never did. 

 

Like so many of us, I tend to stick to what I know and love, even when I'm deeply curious and intrigued by newness. It's often not until something pushes or pulls me out of what I know that I explore new experiences. Like with the tarot reading — it literally had to land in my in-box for me to take action! 

 

It's hard to try new things, especially if that's not your inherent nature. I totally understand the discomfort that comes with trying something unfamiliar, of being vulnerable in a different environment or experience, but I highly recommend pondering these questions: 

 

What things have I always wanted to try but haven't?

What's on that list that I could actually do this week? 

 

This is a great starting point for getting outside of your comfort zone because you're looking to things that are already appealing to you. (Which is different than, for example, trying something recommended by others that, yes, you'd probably enjoy if you gave it a chance, but that doesn't necessarily excite you right off the bat.) In addition, if you identify something you can do right now (or this week), you'll be more likely to actually do it! 

 

Trying new things increases self-awareness, stimulates creativity, helps overcome fear, increases confidence, provides wisdom, and allows you to see the world from a different perspective, but I know how hard it can be for some people (like me!) to do new things. This week, try to do something you've always wanted to, and see how it makes you feel! Here are some ideas for things you could do this week... 

 

• Eat at a restaurant you've never tried before
• Drive down a road you've always been curious about
• Write an email (or letter!) to your favorite author
• Sign up for a dance / yoga / photography class
• Learn about the trees and plants around your home 
• Apply to volunteer at a local organization or charity
• Get a tarot or palm reading in person or online
• Find a clear bit of sky to do some stargazing
• Try out that Pinterest idea you pinned ages ago
• Start a handwritten (gratitude?) journal 
• Take photos of a beautiful thing you want remember
• Learn to cook a meal you really enjoy eating
• Tell someone about how you really, truly feel
• Hang a string of fairy lights above your bed
• Watch a tutorial on a skill you've wanted to master
• Speak up online for a cause you fully believe in
• Go to the library and check out some books (for free!)
• Send flowers to someone you love just because
• Chat with that cute stranger you've seen around
• Donate money to a charity you'd like to support
• Look up the answer to a question you've pondered
• Adopt a dog or cat (or any other kind of creature)
• Create something you've never made before

 

These are just a few ideas that came to my mind, but hopefully they'll remind you of something you've been wanting to try but never have. It's never too late to try something new, and, after getting that tarot reading last week, I realized it doesn't have to be something major. (And it's also really easy to do if it's something you've always thought about doing!) Get out there and do something for the first time this week! If you do it, let me know in the comments or on social media. I'd love to hear about what you tried and how it went!  

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Positively Present Picks: September 22, 2017

“Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.” 

Roy T. Bennett

 

Life Goes Like This : what a beautiful, simple, and true piece of artwork

The Myth of the "Aha" Moment : reading this really made me think! 

Relationship Problems? : getting more sleep might be (part of) a solution

Byron Katie's 4 Questions : her work changed the way I see the world

The Challenge of Not Choosing Sides : how difficult this can be sometimes!

Want to Change? : here's the secret to making change actually stick

How We Can Break the Cycle of Pain : advice for avoiding adverse cycles

The Secret of the World's Happiness People : here's some more inspiration

You Are Magic : absolutely loving this little Tattly temporary tattoo

Be a Better Communicator : the key is evading your embarrassment 

Tackle Inequality by Remembering Advantages You've Had : powerful! 

  

Listen to this playlist on YouTube.
Finally on Spotify! Follow me!

"For What It's Worth" — Kygo
"Out of My Head" — Loote
"Fake Plastic Trees" — Radiohead
"White Mustang" — Lana Del Ray
"Love So Soft"— Kelly Clarkson
"Over the Love" — Florence & the Machine
"Rainbow" — Sia
"Some Kind of Love" — The Killers
"Rearrange" — Ella Vos
"Yours" — Now Now

Check out my reading list on GoodReads.
 

Trees: A Guide to Familiar
American Trees
Albert Zim

Men & Dogs
Marie-Eva Chopin &
Alice Chaygneaud-Dupuy

The Whole World Over
Julia Glass

 

I write books too! Check it out...

The Positively Present Guide to Life

Effortless Inspiration Series:
Gratitude, Living in the Moment, 
Compassion, and Forgiveness

Stay Positive: Daily Reminders
from Positively Present

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some links may be affiliate links. If you click on them and purchase something, I receive a commission. There is no additional cost to you if you use these links, and I will never share links for products I haven't or wouldn't purchase myself. For more information on affiliate links, please visit the Terms of Use page. 

Mastering Mindfulness (No Meditation Required!)

 

 

 

When many people hear the word "mindfulness," what comes to mind is a serene-looking yogi chanting mantras softly from atop an embroidered cushion. Many people equate mindfulness with meditation — a nice activity to aspire to, but one that, for a variety of reasons (time, cultural expectations, etc.), often feels unattainable. Meditation, while it does offer many incredible benefits to those who practice it, isn't the same as mindfulness. Meditation can be a wonderful way to cultivate a more mindful life, and with its rise in popularity in recent years, there are tons of sites and apps to guide those interested in it, but mindfulness is about so much more than meditation.

 

Mindfulness isn't just about deep breathing and motivating mantras (though those can be wonderful!). Mindfulness is, as Masters of Mindfulness founder, Monica Ortiz, says in this video, "just about being present, about being aware of where you are, what you're doing, how you're feeling, what you're thinking, and what's going on around you without being overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on."

 

Of course, we all know that's way easier said than done. Staying in the moment, being aware of what's happening but not feeling reactive or overwhelmed, is really challenging for most of us. It's so difficult, in fact, that most of us would rather not do it, choosing instead to hurry through our days, numb ourselves from awareness, or distract ourselves so we don't have to master the art of being mindful. 

 

But, as with most things in life, it's the really challenging stuff that offers some of the greatest benefits. Here are just a few of the positive things that mindfulness has been proven to do: reduce stress, offer insights into the self, discover deeper a understanding of life, experience better health, enhance job performance, improve relationships, and enjoy how we're spending our time. If mindfulness offers so many benefits, why are so many of us avoiding it? 

 

The reasons for avoiding mindfulness are plenty, but one of the main reasons, I believe, is that people don't know what to do to be more mindful. Mindfulness requires practice and repetition. It's kind of like exercise. We know it's good for us, but some of us aren't interested in going for a run. The thing is: running isn't the only way to get some exercise, just like meditation isn't the only way to practice mindfulness. 

 

When it comes to mastering mindfulness, the trick is to find what works best for you and incorporate it into your life as often as possible. You might have to play around a bit, trying different activities to see what feels right for you. Here are some ways you can play around with adding more mindfulness to your life. 

 

 

SEEK OUT INSPIRATION

 

You're already on the right path, just by being here on Positively Present! Seeking out inspiration is a great way to connect with a mindful experience. Just think about the last time you saw or read or experienced something that made you feel inspired. It caused you to stop for a moment and reflect, didn't it? Inspiration can be anything — a stunning piece of artwork, a glorious sunset, a smile on a child's face, a quote that feels like it was written just for you at this exact point in your life. Whatever inspires you, seek it out often because every time feel inspired, you're mindfully in the moment. 

 

 

GENERATE MORE GRATITUDE

 

Practicing gratitude might sound like cliched advice, but, trust me, it works. Nothing has helped me more in my quest for a positively present life than learning to be grateful for everything (even the not-so-great parts of life). I've been keeping a gratitude journal consistently for the past year (in my Every Day Matters diary!), and I've seen a huge difference in how I feel about the world around me (and about myself too!). There are many ways to practice gratitude, but a gratitude journal is an excellent place to begin. 

 

 

MONITOR YOUR MOOD

 

Paying attention to your mood is one of the best ways to not only be more mindful, but to use that mindfulness to create a more wonderful life. Knowing how you feel in certain circumstances, around certain people, and when doing certain tasks allows you to make adjustments — to include more of the positive aspects of life and to remove more of the negative aspects — and, while these adjustments aren't always easy, it's amazing what you can do when you remove what's not working. Get yourself a mood tracker, and you'll find yourself becoming more mindful of how everything makes you feel. 

 

 

REVERE RELAXATION

 

Relaxation isn't exactly revered in Western culture. It's usually reserved for vacations and lazy Sunday mornings. But learning how to relax leads to great moments of mindfulness. For many of us, relaxation can actually be really tough. We feel like we should be doing something. One way to give more reverence to relaxation is by surrounding yourself with things to sooth your five senses — soft melodies to listen to, calming scents to take in, comforting items to touch (a dog's fur is my favorite), serene images to look at, and foods that make your tastebuds rejoice. Make time for relaxation and you're making time for mindfulness. 

 

 

 

These are just a few of the many ways you can practice mindfulness without meditation (though meditation can be really amazing so definitely give it a try if you haven't!). There's also a great new app, Masters of Mindfulness, that's an excellent resource for exploring a variety of mindfulness techniques. The app includes everything you'd ever need to master mindfulness all in one spot: a mood tracker, a gratitude journal, healing songs, mindful living videos, upspirations (inspirational quotes with insights on applying them to your life), and, of course, meditation! Mindfulness isn't about adhering to one strict idea of what it means to stay in the moment; it's about using the techniques that work best for you so you can reap the benefits of being more aware of what's happening in your life. 

  

 

 

Thank you to the new Masters of Mindfulness app for sponsoring today's post!

 

Masters of Mindfulness is the world's most complete mindfulness app, now available on iOS and Android. The app brings all the tools you need to become a master of mindfulness. Meditate with others in a live stream meditation, or on your own time with a library of recorded meditations. Track your Mood daily and discover what is affecting you negatively / positively and become empowered to change things up. Cultivate positivity through your very own Gratitude Journal. Relax and destress with healing songs in the Soothing Sounds section. Browse Upspirations, quotes meant to inspire, and learn how to apply them to your situation. Enlighten and expand your mind through video interviews with health and healing practitioners, mindful living teachers, and more in the Videos section. This app has everything you need to cultivate mindfulness.

 

Visit their website to learn more about the Masters of Mindfulness app, or download the app to get started today and watch your world change! 

 

 

HOW TO STAY MINDFUL AT WORK

By Kate Taylor

In the corner office, a woman scans her email, talks on the phone and intermittently sips from a giant coffee cup. In a nearby cubicle, a man listens to hold music while stapling paper stacks and squinting across the room at a wall clock. Up at the reception desk, another man plays online Solitaire while eating soup and preparing office supply orders.

This is a snapshot of an office where I once worked. Indeed, it’s what most of my past workplaces looked like. And according to social psychologists, it’s what most American workplaces (those with cubicles, desks and chairs, anyway) look like.

Everybody multi-tasking. Nobody giving their full attention to a single task.

“The bottom line is we are all constantly self-distracting,” says Larry Rosen, Ph.D., author and research psychologist.

Rarely, he says, do we “focus and attend” any task for more than three to five minutes. We’re perpetually distracted — primarily by emails, texts and other social media.

No wonder it’s so hard to be mindful at work.

But don’t give up just yet!

Above all, mindfulness requires practice, and the following expert tips are all you need to keep off autopilot and stay mindful throughout your work day.

 

https://www.mindful.org/10-ways-mindful-work/

 

1. Be Consciously Present

Mindfulness is about being aware and awake rather than operating unconsciously. When you’re consciously present at work, you’re aware of two aspects of your moment-to-moment experience — what’s going on around you and what’s going on within you.

If you’re mindfully writing a report, for example, you give it your full attention. You choose the words you type with care. You remain aware of how your chair supports you and how the keyboard keys feel beneath your fingertips.

Sounds easy, right?

Perhaps, if you’ve spent the last five months on a silent retreat. Most people, however, are used to giving far less than 100 percent of their attention to work. As they write a report, a third or even half of their attention drifts with music coming through their earphones. Or wanders to last night’s Game of Thrones episode. Or rumbles about needing some fries.

If you’re trying to boost your mindfulness at work, don’t let your undisciplined thoughts discourage you. Staying present requires practice. Lots of practice. ‘When you catch your thoughts slipping away to global warming or Kim Kardashian-land, just acknowledge what’s happening and usher them back to the task at hand. Here are some extra mindfulness tips to boost your chances of success:

 

• Make a clear decisionat the start of your workday to be present as best you can. Pause for a few moments before you start your work to set this intention in your mind.

• Make an effort to work more consciously, even if that means that you need to work more slowly at first—doing so pays off in the long run.

 

• Keep the advantages of being presentin mind to motivate you. Mindfulness brings a powerful sense of calm and focus to your day and will help you produce your best work.

• Give your full attention to seemingly mundane taskslike typing, loading the copy machine and dialing phone numbers. If you’re just waiting in a meeting room, just focus on your breathing. These little moments can energize you and bring unexpected pleasure and peace.

2. Use Short Mindful Exercises at Work

 

Mindful exercises train your brain to be more present. The more you do, the easier your brain finds it to drop into a mindful state, thus optimizing your brain function.

In a busy workplace, it might seem impossible to find time for mindful exercises. No worries — they can be as short as you want them to be. In fact, just a minute of consciously connecting with one of your senses qualifies as a mindful exercise. You don’t need to make is obvious to others by assuming a lotus position or closing your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down. So be creative! Find the time for several mindful exercises every day.

Quick way to fall in love with mindfulness:

Try a mindful exercise when work-stress is driving you to your limit. Just closing your eyes and tuning everything out for two minutes can help rebalance your nervous system, tone down the fight-or-flight response and engage the wisest part of your brain. Once relaxed, you’ll be far less reactive and better equipped to make smart decisions.

3. Be a Single-Tasker

Single-tasking means doing one thing at a time. Multi-tasking means trying to do two or more tasks at the same time or switching back and forth between tasks.

Multi-tasking is a myth, scientists say. We may think we’re multi-tasking, but in reality, our brains are madly switching from one thing to the next, often losing data in the process.

So why do we keep trying to do it? Multi-tasking makes us feel more productive. And that false feeling of productivity, experts say, is addictive.

Here are a few ways to kick the multi-tasking habit for good and become a paragon of single-tasking:

• Keep a time journalof what you achieve when single-tasking or multi-tasking. Note the time each time you measure, and write down what you achieve in both modes. See whether you can notice your productivity rising when you single-task. Noticing the benefits can motivate you to switch permanently to single-tasking.

 

• Switch off as many distractions as you can.Silence your phone, log off from your email account, and so on. Then set a timer for whatever amount of time you need to work, and record how much you get done.

• Practice mindfulness during breaksbetween tasks. Once you’ve completed a task, get up, stretch, take some deep breaths or go for a mindful walk.

4. Use Mindful Reminders

Remembering to be mindful is challenging, even for veteran meditators and mindfulness students.

Here’s why: the brain’s normal (default) mode is to be lost in thought while running internal narratives. As we go through our routine daily activities, our brains automatically switch into this unmindful state.

One Harvard study showed that people spend nearly half of each day lost in thought, performing many actions automatically. And though we often think of day-dreaming as pleasant, this study also showed that unmindful thoughts frequently take us into negative or unproductive ruts and sabotage our well-being.

Operating on auto-pilot means that you’re not fully present and awake to the opportunities and choices around you. You’re unable to be creative or thoughtful, you can’t come up with new ideas or solutions – some of the best parts of owning a mind are simply unavailable to you.

Reminders can help bring you back to mindfulness. Here are some effective reminders to try:

Set an alarm on your phone – a vibrating alarm that doesn’t disturb others can work well.

• Add mindful exercises in your daily schedule – set an appointment with yourself, and keep it.
• Post a small note or picture on your deskto remind you to be mindful.
• Associate certain activities with mindfulness, such as meal times or meetings or when finishing one task and starting another.
• Use the sound of bellsand rings in the workplace as “bells of mindfulness.”

5. Slow Down to Speed Up

By slowing down, you can become more efficient, productive, happy, resilient and healthy at work.

Chronic rushing is a misuse of energy and leads to bad decisions. Instead, pause, focus on listening, stroll rather than run, and generally take your time at work.

Effective leaders, workers, and entrepreneurs slow down and reflect to make the best decisions—they slow down to speed up. That’s a mindful way of working.

6. Feel Gratitude

Human beings have what psychologists call a “negativity bias.” That’s a tendency to react more intensely to negative stimuli than equally strong positive stimuli.

We owe this tendency to our primitive ancestors, who made life and death decisions all the time.

Makes sense, right? Back then, it was far more important to remember the poisonous striped snake by the river than the tree with super-sweet plums on the hill.

In modern times, however, that negativity bias is basically a useless buzzkill. It dampens our happiness and pre-disposes up to fear and anxiety.

Having a negativity bias “is a great way to pass on gene copies, but a lousy way to promote quality of life,” says Dr. Rick Hanson, psychologist and senior fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

Our work places are full of things to worry about, from possible future layoffs to perceived bad vibes from the boss. That’s why it’s so important to fight our faulty programming.

“Be mindful of the degree to which your brain is wired to make you afraid, wired so that you walk around with an ongoing trickle of anxiety (a flood for some) to keep you on alert,” Hanson says.

Remember that we tend “to tune out or de-emphasize reassuring good news, and keep thinking about the one thing that was negative in a day in which a hundred small things happened, ninety-nine of which were neutral or positive.”

The antidote to all this predisposed negativity?

Gratitude!

Being grateful helps us realize how many blessings we truly have. It helps us step away from fear and anxiety and feel better. It helps us stay positive and put problems in perspective. It boosts our creativity, health, working relationships and quality of work.

Of course, this brings up another problem with our troublesome minds: we’re not hardwired to be grateful. For the same reason we focus on negative stimuli, most of us don’t spend enough time reflecting on how lucky we are.

Not to worry – we can recover from gratitude-deficit. Try these tricks to bring more gratitude into your life:

 

http://www.dailygood.org/story/1166/10-ways-to-become-more-grateful-robert-emmons/

 

• Keep a Gratitude Journal. Establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things you enjoy. Setting aside time on a daily basis to recall moments of gratitude associated with ordinary events, your personal attributes, or valued people in your life gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life theme of gratefulness.

• Remember the Bad. To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember the hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult life used to be and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast is fertile ground for gratefulness.

• Ask Yourself Three Questions. Utilize the meditation technique known as Naikan, which involves reflecting on three questions: “What have I received from __?”, “What have I given to __?”, and “What troubles and difficulty have I caused?”

• Learn Prayers of Gratitude. In many spiritual traditions, prayers of gratitude are the most powerful form of prayer, because through these prayers people recognize the ultimate source of all they are and all they will ever be.

• Come to Your Senses. Through our senses—the ability to touch, see, smell, taste, and hear—we gain an appreciation of what it means to be human and of what an incredible miracle it is to be alive. Seen through the lens of gratitude, the human body is not only a miraculous construction, but also a gift.

• Use Visual Reminders. Because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude.

• Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude. Research shows that making an oath to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own gratitude vow, which could be as simple as “I vow to count my blessings each day,” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.

• Watch your Language. Words are powerful and often reflect the way we think. That’s why grateful people often use happy words like gift, giver, blessing, blessed, fortune, fortunate and abundance. Try using a few and see if it doesn’t add to your happiness.

• Fake it until….. As a last recourse, go through the motions of gratitude — it’s very likely to trigger true gratitude. Motions of gratitude include smiling, saying thank you, and writing grateful letters and notes.

 

The post HOW TO STAY MINDFUL AT WORK appeared first on .

Positively Present Picks: September 15, 2017

"The less I fight my fear, the less it fights back."

Elizabeth Gilbert

 

Peace Love & Yoga Desk Calendar : a perfect little gift for the yoga-lovers in your life

Every Day Matters Video : check out the video I made for the 2018 diaries! :)

Life is NOT a Journey : a powerful little video about the meaning of life

The G.A.L.E. of Gratitude : check out my article for Kindred Spirit magazine

How Pets Can Help with Self-Care : if you have a pet, you know how true this is! 

5 Mantras for Dealing with Difficult People in Tense Situations : excellent inspiration

Cure Yourself of Tree Blindness : been thinking about this idea forever

If It Doesn't Suck, It's Not Worth Doing : this definitely made me think 

Ready to Get Started? : here's a list of the three things you need to stop doing

5 Useful Questions to Craft Awesome Self-Care : questions are an essential first step

Outer Order, Inner Calm : how you can use organizing to soothe anxiety 

The End of Summer is the Space Before What Could Be : so beautifully put

10 Tips to Help You Put the Phone Down : I definitely needed to read these!

Why You Have Negative Thoughts : and how to stop them from taking over

  

Listen to this playlist on YouTube.
Finally on Spotify! Follow me!

"Don't Come Home" — Emma Blakery
"Everybody Wants to..." — Joseph
"Los Angeles" — St Vincent
"27" — MAJIK
"Persephone"— Yumi Zouma
"Lonely Together" — Aviici
"Clean Up" — JR JR
"Are You Down" — Oddnesse
"Clover" — Cold Weather Company
"Talking" — Elderbrook

Check out my reading list on GoodReads.
 

Surprise Yourself:
Get Out of Your Head and into the World
Lisa Currie

The Whole World Over
Julia Glass

 

I write books too! Check it out...

The Positively Present Guide to Life

Effortless Inspiration Series:
Gratitude, Living in the Moment, 
Compassion, and Forgiveness

Stay Positive: Daily Reminders
from Positively Present

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some links may be affiliate links. If you click on them and purchase something, I receive a commission. There is no additional cost to you if you use these links, and I will never share links for products I haven't or wouldn't purchase myself. For more information on affiliate links, please visit the Terms of Use page.